Thursday, July 29, 2010

Judge Judy

I love Judge Judy.  Yes, I know, along with every senior citizen in this country.  My 80 year old right wing grandpa loves her too.  Does this deter me?  Hell no... I have my DVR set to record 3 episodes daily-- well, except for Saturday and Sunday.  If my math is correct, that's 15 glorious episodes of Judge Judy per week.  Do I watch all of them?  Hell yes I do.

She sits perched upon her bench, with her little old lady puff hair-do, just waiting for someone to piss her off so she can yell.  She yells at everything/everyone.  She yells because she doesn't like the look of someone.  She yells because some people are just stupid assholes.  She yells because someone is pouring a cup of water from the carafe which is PROVIDED to the litigants in the courtroom.  She gets mad if someone is shuffling papers, has their hands in their pockets, or is leaning on the table.  She yells simply because someone is annoying her.

So, I was wondering why I'm so fascinated with this beast of a woman.  I think I've come up with a theory.  I'm jealous.  I wish I could yell at everyone who irritated me.  If that were the case I think I'd yell all day long. But since I'm a relatively normal human being, I refrain.  I'm like any other well mannered person-- I don't want everyone to think I'm a big bitch.  But wouldn't it feel good?  And that's the thing, I think she knows she's mean and doesn't care.  Seriously?

And why do people volunteer to be on the show?  Really? Have those people ever watched her yell?

I swear I'd love to be in the audience.  I think it would be the funniest thing in the world.  Those people in the background always have a dumb look on their face-- well hopefully I wouldn't look dumb though.  She's even yelled at people in the audience- the very people who support her by being at a LIVE taping.  That's dedication-- willing to face abuse.