Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ghosts or Aliens?

What are you more afraid of:  Ghosts or Aliens?  This has been a topic of conversation between my sister and I on more than one occasion.  I will present both sides, scientifically and rationally, of course, and you can decide for yourself which is scarier.  At the end of the blog, I shall reveal which scares me more (like anyone cares anyways).   

Ghosts:  What's the most they can do?  Move shit around and possibly manifest into a white, cloudy mist-- or more scary, an actual human form?  Or, stay invisible and you can only feel their creepy energy?  Watch over you while you sleep, wishing they were still amongst the living?  Angry because they are caught between two worlds- angry because they met an awful death-- maybe murder or suicide?  Wandering aimlessly, trying to find their way.  Lonely. 

Good ghosts (which are still creepy by the way), bad ghosts, Paranormal Activity ghosts?? Hell no.  They are all scary in my opinion.  SCARY.  Patrick Swayze and that goddamn penny??  Ummmm no.  Thousands upon thousands of reported sightings and hauntings.  Some credible, some not so much.      

Aliens:  Scary as shit.  Have you ever watched one of those programs about alien abductions?  How unsuspecting individuals wake up on a surgery table, bright light above their head, with the scary aliens looking down at them?  And do you know what they're doing?  Probing them.  Taking tissue samples.  Taking measurements.  Examining sexual organs.  Anal probing.  Oh yes.  Anal probing.  AND, what else?  They put gelatanous brown goo in your mouth.  Brown goo!!!

No, I've never been abducted, but I've watched plenty of documentaries on the subject.  Do I believe in aliens?  I think so.  I mean the universe is so vast that it seems a little naive to think humans are the only intelligent life form.  Don't you think?  Somewhere out there... but I sure as shit don't want to find out.  And I certainly don't want to be anal probed OR have brown (or any color) goo put in my mouth.  

We are always afraid of the unknown and what we don't understand.  Do these things really exist?  Yes, I believe so.  I'm open to the idea.  I'd actually love to see a ghost.  I actively try to seek them out- and is one of the many nerd activities I like to partake in.  I have yet to see one, but maybe one day...  Aliens on the other hand?  Get them the fuck away from me.  I want absolutely nothing to do with them or their creepiness and anal probing, sick ways.  AND they can abduct you?? Noooooo way.  I'm not a fan of aliens.  Ok, so there you have it, I'm more afraid of aliens.     

Now I'm too scared to go to bed...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

15 Facts- Little Known Or Otherwise

1.  I love saying eat shit and die.  I don't know why.  It's funny.  I mean really, would there be a more awful way to die?   Not only must you eat shit, but die afterwards.  How about skipping the eating shit part and just die?  I think I would prefer that. 

Uses:  For people/things that piss me off. 

Example:  Worked sucked today.  I wish it would eat shit and die.
Example:  That bitch just took my parking spot.  She should eat shit and die.

There are many uses and I enjoy them all.

2.  I'm afraid of the dark.  I always sleep with a light or the tv on.  I'm not exactly certain of what I'm afraid of, however.  Just darkness in general, I suppose. 

3.  Why can't I think of anything about myself?  Am I really that boring?

4.  I enjoy learning new things about a wide variety of subjects.  Well, except economics and politics and other lame topics I can't think of right now.

5.  I like to spoil people I care about and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. 

6.  I'm a hopeless romantic, but hide it well.

7.  I HATE baby carrots.  The thought of them infuriates me.  DISGUSTING.  Just try to give me one... I may slap you.

8.  I have situational anxiety.  Please don't ask me to park in your driveway.  I can't explain it... certain things just freak me out.  Very irrational, I know.  I ran out of Ativan, so please be gentle.

9.  I'm very detail oriented.  If I tell you a story, I'll probably include what I wore that day, what I ate and anything else UNRELATED to the actual happenings of the story.

10. I hate cleaning, but when I do, I'm a maniac and everything has to be perfect.

11. I wish I knew more French.

12. I'd like to take a photography class.  But I'd have to take an Ativan first. 

13. I want a garden with lots of veggies.  I especially want potatoes so I can dig them up from the soil.  Why does that sound like sooooo much fun? 

14. I just want to enjoy the beauty in life- be close to nature and people.  I want to take the time to enjoy beautiful things in general and be thankful for them.  

15. I will learn how to crochet and/or knit one day.  And Laura isn't going to be the teacher because she yells at me and calls me dumb :(               

16. I really like to hug and cuddle.  I'm super affectionate.

My Blog Sucks

I really need to find a good topic to write about. Writer's (for lack of a better term) block.  Hmmmmmm.

Until then...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Chicken Tendons, Veins, and Red Spots

I was a pretty strict vegetarian for just over 3 years.  To my utter disappointment and disgust, I'm currently a practicing carnivore.  For lack of better words, one day I just fell off the wagon-- and I've eaten meat ever since.  It kinda bothers me because really and truly I don't like the fact that an animal has to give it's life so I may consume it.  It makes me sad to know that animals are treated poorly and inhumanely.  I mean, really, I don't need it to survive- I could very well and almost happily lead a meat-free existence.  But God dammit, I love a tasty cheeseburger or chicken strips occasionally.  Shit, how hypocritical is that???????    

Although I do eat meat, it is very limited.  When I make dinner at home, it's almost exclusively vegetarian and quite simple.  I don't like buying meat because it's expensive.  And I don't necessarily enjoy cutting up and handling something dead.  Dead.  It's very easy to forget- thanks to packaging and the help of a butcher.  Afterall, it no longer looks like an animal, right?  Right?  This heap of flesh used to have feathers (or fur/hair) and was once a living, breathing animal.   The other reason I don't like to cook meat? 


OMG. Sooooo gross.
The other day, in attempt to eat healthier, I bought 3 organic, all vegetarian fed chicken breasts for $10.50.  Please, chicken killers, could you please trim off some of the yellow globs of fat?  Or am I the only weirdo who finds it absolutely repulsive? 

Now presenting:  The Red Spot...

Sorry for the poor quality of the picture, but hopefully you get the idea.  What is that red thing?  Sooooo gross!!!  So needless to say, I mutilated the poor chicken breast and cut out every single disgusting, tendon-y thing, red spot, and fat glob.  I swear to God that I wasted so much of the chicken.  And I feel bad for being wasteful, but I just can't eat it.

But the light at the end of the gross, veiny tunnel?  After I cut up the chicken into little pieces and cooked it, it was delicious.



Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year's Resolutions

First, I'd like to say that my computer is a giant piece of shit.  Now that I've gotten that off my chest I can proceed. 

I have several New Year's Resolutions.  By having so many, I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure, but I don't care.  Let me list them, in no particular order...

1.  Find a date.  Really, I need to get my ass in gear.  I'm not getting any younger and I'm starting to panic.  I've done the math--- and it's not in my favor.

2.  Lose 10 pounds.  I'd really feel better if I lost a few pounds.  I've already started a low carb diet-- so we'll see how that goes. AND just be healthier in general- eat better and exercise more regularly.

3.  Stop losing everything.  And by everything, I mean everything- included but not limited to socks, my Wii power cord, my CD burner, Mac compact (shit), my debit card, my driver's license- I could go on forever.  I'm trying to be more organized.  Today I cleaned out the hall closet and it looks lovely and is very organized.  I arranged and folded towels and sheets, put a bunch of cleaning supplies in order, and bought plastic containers from Target to keep things orderly.  There's Xmas tags, tissue paper, ribbon, and like items in one container.  And just a general neatness, which I'm totally enjoying.

4.  Work on a project 1/2 to 1 hour per day.  After work, I want to work on something- it can be anything, cleaning, organizing, making something, writing a blog.  Whatever seems appropriate for that day.

5.  Find a new job.  I'm sick of my job and it sucking up all of my time and stressing me out.  Really?  It can eat shit and die.  Over it.

6.  Not really a resolution, but I want to be a good person.  I want to better myself and continue to grow, learn new things, and explore life.  I want to be a good friend, cousin, sister, daughter, niece, and granddaughter- oh and anything else I've forgotten.  Don't worry this doesn't include not talking shit and being funny and inappropriate.  

7.  Save money.  I'm not sure for what...

Hmmmm.  I think that's it.  I think all of these things are feasible. 

Ok, I'm totally going to do something productive right now...

The End.