I Can't Believe This... Oh Wait, Yes I Can

On Saturday night, we went to Asia S.F. for my friend's birthday party.  For those of you who don't know, Asia S.F. is a club/bar/restaurant who's main attraction are men who dress and live like women, aka trannies.  And I'm talking fake boobs, skinny, hot bodies, the whole nine yards.  Nearly all of them have better bodies than me... well except the 55 year old "madame" trannie.  I think I may have her beat, at least.

We were seated at a table.  The tables were high, so they provided bar stools to sit on while we ate and watched the show.  While I was sitting there, I suddenly became uncomfortable.  My back was exposed because my shirt kept riding up.  Mind you, I was wearing my "winter" coat also (an appropriate winter coat, PP).  I'm not the type of girl who enjoys her ass crack to show, nor do I think it's sexy or cute.  So, I kept pulling the back of my shirt down. 

After several attempts at trying to pull my shirt down and failing.  I discovered something... I ran my hand across my back and made a shocking discovery.  I swear to God, this would only happen to me.

Behold:

WTF

First of all, I would like to personally thank Forever 21 for such quality clothing.  I think I've worn this shirt once before.  That's what I get for buying $8.00 shirts.

Secondly, WTF???!!!  I have no idea when this rip occurred.  I can't imagine I put it on ripped to shit... but then again, I was in a rush... but it's not like it's a teeny tiny tear, the whole back of the shirt is ripped to shreds!! We rode BART into the city and I wasn't attacked on the way by a homeless guy, nor was I in a bar fight.  I didn't get caught on anything- there was no tugging... plus I was wearing my winter coat the whole time.  WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED???!!!!

There is absolutely no explanation.  I'm leaning towards the theory that I put it on ripped.  This is reason #1,000,000 why I am truly an asshole.

The End.