My mom's company picnic was today at Six Flags Discovery Bay in Vallejo. Vallejo is such a shit hole city-- they actually went bankrupt-- the city went bankrupt. WTF. SHIT HOLE.
Anyways, we got in for $20. What a deal. It included park admission and a bbq lunch. Not to be a bitch but the lunch was pretty nasty. Nasty cheap hamburgers and these disgusting looking hotdogs, which I'm sure were loaded with nails, hair, and buttholes. There was also baked beans and potato salad. Unlimited Diet Coke, which I love. Ice cream sandwiches for dessert.
So, my mom, cousin, a teen girl I mentor, and myself went. My dad was supposed to go but he flaked. Whatever. Thank goodness my cousin came. She and the teen went on all the scary rides together. I felt like a mom- waiting at the exit for them. Ugh.
A little known fact about me: I have a terrible case of motion sickness. I have been known to get sick on car rides (I'm usually just nauseous, I don't typically barf). Since I feel like shit on car rides, naturally I also get sick on most rides. If I go on a roller coaster I have to shut my eyes, and even then, I feel like shit after. It's not just roller coasters, but anything that spins, goes up and down (i.e. Tower of Terror), or simulation rides. Fuck, so pretty much anything that moves. I can tolerate some rides better than others, but they all make me sick. Bitches.
Honestly, by nature I'm not a thrill seeker. I enjoy being on the ground. Don't ask me to go sky diving or bungee jumping--- if you do, I'll just tell you to fuck off. The most I'll do is parasailing-- which I almost had a heart attack, but it wasn't scary at all. Actually quite enjoyable, then again, I wasn't falling out of the sky. It wasn't scary at all.
The best part of Six Flags was people watching. I stared at every mother fucker there. Terrible. Just terrible. I'm not trying to be mean, but I saw soooo many girls who were, not to be mean, really, really large. Their guts were hanging over their pants and it looks awful. Ok, I understand that not everyone is skinny and I really and truly believe that people should wear whatever they want...but... it looks terrible!!! Tight, clingy t-shirts don't look good, especially if you can see the indentation of someone's belly button. I saw plenty of those. Belly button indentations equals terrible.
Secondly. Please guys, don't wear Ed Hardy shirts. Can you say douchie? I don't think I'm offending anyone... the only person who reads this blog is PP and Bob doesn't seem to be the Ed Hardy type. I also hate hate hate the way guys wear their hats. I can't describe it, but you know what I mean. Lame.
The moral of the story, or this blog rather, is that I will never pay full price to go to Six Flags. I literally can't go on any of the rides, so what's the point?
okay, let's discuss six flags. first of all, it costs way too goddamn much to get in. second, they need to take a lesson from disney on organization. the lines there are so damn long because they don't have their shit together. third.. what the fuck is it about theme parks that brings out some serious trash? is that totally mean? i can't help it *and* it's true. and omg ed hardy.
ReplyDeletei love rides. i will go on basically any ride. i don't like rides who's sole purpose is to spin you around, but anything else is fair game.
that being said... if i sit in the back seat of a car, there is a good possibility i will be nauseous for the rest of the day, go figure.