Go Ahead and Laugh You Assholes

Why can't I ever find anything?  Seriously.  Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment and I can't find my insurance card.  Do you think that shit is in my wallet like a normal human?  Of course it isn't.  I don't think it'll be a big deal, but I'm kinda stressing out about it.  Mainly because *if* I get a prescription, I want to change pharmacies.  Walgreens can seriously eat shit and die.  They are soooo expensive.  So I suppose I'll have to call some bullshit hotline and get all the information, which is what I'm trying to avoid in the first place.

This is what I did find, however:  2 copies of my dental insurance card (of course), a Jamba Juice gift card, an Applebees gift card, my 2010-2011 car registration (which I promptly put in my car), Best Buy credit card, DSW card, my checkbook...

This...

Words can't describe how I feel about this...

And this...

Why do I have a mullet?

Are you done laughing yet, you assholes?  Really fucking funny, isn't it?? 

1.  I'm so depressed that my high school photo was 20 years ago.  Seriously.  I'm ready to fling myself off of a building- I swear I'd do it if I weren't so lazy.

2.  My college photo.  Seriously, someone should've put me out of my misery.  Fuck.

3.  Why can I find the above ID's from a million years ago, but can't find my insurance card from a year ago.

4.  Why can't I keep shit in my wallet?? Really?  WHY?

Ok, I'm done embarrassing myself now.

The End.