Phoenix Peed on My Brush

This blog is dedicated to my friend, Stephanie.  I've known her FOREVER, and we've had lots of laughs throughout the years.  She is another friend who is a disaster.  She loses everything, sleeps on random stuff, and is messy.  JUST LIKE ME!!  I swear to god, I gravitate towards people like me.  It's like a weird radar.  I seriously don't think a normal person could be friends with me, they couldn't handle my antics.  But it's all in good fun and I make it a point to never take myself seriously. 

Up until last night, she didn't even know I had a blog and is excited about giving me 'inspiration' about potential topics.  She specifically requested this topic--- so... without further ado, I present Phoenix Peed on My Brush.

I have several brushes.  At any given time, however, I can't even find one.  You'd think there would be one in the bathroom and that I would keep it there like a normal person.  As you know, I am not a normal person.  As a matter of fact, I just cleaned my car and I found 2 brushes in there.  Don't ask me why, because I don't know, but I suppose the only logical reason is that I am a disaster.

One morning I went into the family room.  Great!! There's my brush!!!  ON THE FLOOR.  YESSSS!  I was so excited.  Oh.  But wait.  After closer inspection, it appeared that the brush was sitting in a puddle of something.  Pee.  Shit.  Phoenix peed on my brush.

Later that evening, I went to my sister's school to get my hair done.  I proceeded to tell her about the brush.  We started laughing hysterically-- I have no idea why.  I'm mean the dog peed on my brush.  How funny is that?  Well, I think it's so funny BECAUSE it was on the floor in the first place.  Who does that?  Why was it on the floor?  Why didn't I pick it up?  The worst part was she told one of her instructors about it.  First of all, I don't think she quite understood our humor, and secondly, I think she thought we were a couple of assholes.  Embarrassing.

Laura held up a brush a few days later, "is this the brush Phoenix peed on?".  I replied "it sure is, but I cleaned it and it doesn't smell...".

The End.